We are thrilled to announce that Shredder Corp will be celebrating its remarkable 100th Anniversary on March 3rd, 2024! Throughout our century-long journey, we have continuously strived to shift paradigms and redefine industry standards. As we commemorate this momentous milestone, we extend our heartfelt gratitude to our dedicated employees whose unwavering commitment has been integral to our success. In recognition of this historic occasion falling on a Sunday, we are offering employees the option to work and log a few extra hours of minimum-wage pay. This gesture underscores our appreciation for their hard work and dedication, ensuring that our centennial celebration is a reflection of our values and commitment to fostering a supportive and inclusive workplace culture.

Shredder Corp is excited to share the news of its recent acquisition of Grayspace Labs, a company celebrated for its high-quality handmade products and innovative solutions. Leveraging Shredder Corp's expertise in the industry and their existing partnership with Grayspace Labs, this strategic move not only adds unique, artisanal offerings to our portfolio but also marks a win-win collaboration. Shredder Corp will be capitalizing on Grayspace Labs' exceptional craftsmanship while also addressing challenges related to their abysmal project completion record and habitual hemorrhaging of funds, ensuring a mutually beneficial solution for both entities. Shredder Corp pinky promises that no jobs will be lost during this transition.

Shredder Corp is pleased to announce the groundbreaking of our new state of the art facilities, Shredder Corp HQ! Plans are being finalized as you read this, palms are being greased, and our construction company is getting a head start building what will house the Shredder Corp family for centuries to come. While we can't share many details publicly at this time, we can confirm that no expense is being spared. This is an investment in the future. Shredder Corp HQ is slated for a completion date sometime around Fall of 2014. More information to follow.

A disturbing, new trend has recently been brought to the attention of Shredder Corp's IT Department. Being that Shredder Corp is tech-forward company in this new digital age of wide webs, inter nets, and dot coms, we wanted to make sure that all employees are aware of his malicious trend being called 'Fishing Scams' or 'Fishing Attacks'. According to our experts, these attacks involve a victim receiving an electronic mail letter that contains a fictious offer for an exotic charter fishing excursion or fishing lessons. When the victim attempts to claim these offers, their private information is stolen, and they never get any follow up information about the spot they reserved for the fishing excursion. It is not yet known who is behind these attacks or why they are fish-based. We will provide more information as it becomes available and in the meantime request that employees be weary of any fish content.

Shredder Corp is please to announce the arrival of new fax machines. That's right, machine's with an 's' meaning multiple. We will be placing a top of the line fax machine on EACH floor in the building. That means no more complaining about taking the stairs from the basement to the 17th floor and back, Deborah in HR! Even better yet, these brand new model use data compression to transmit an audio-encoded digital representation of the page. For the 97% of our employees who don't  understand that last sentence, it means these fax machines are VERY fast and work VERY well. So really, no more complaining Deborah Simms in HR.

Per Edward Mike Davis' orders, there will be no more birthday celebrations, birthday cakes, levity, or celebrations of any kind within the office. This is a business office. If you have to celebrate, do it after office hours on your own time.

We are deeply saddened to share that we have lost a pivotal member of the Shredder Corp family. CEO John Miller has been taken from us far too soon at the age of 87. As a founding member of Shredder Corp, his contributions to the company's success and culture have been monumental. This will surely go down in history as the most notable event to impact the world on this day, the 20th of July 1969. John's Last Will and Testament expressly stated his replacement should be none other than his own brother, James Miller, who will assume the role of CEO effective immediately. This transition of power means that James Miller will officially become the youngest CEO in Shredder Corp history.

Looks like Sinterklaas came early this year! Say hello to the newest addition to the Shredder Corp family! No, the robots aren't taking over. However, being the innovative company we are, Shredder Corp is pleased to announce the arrival of our state of the art Facsimile Machine (or Fax Machine as the technology nerds are calling it). We will have mandatory training, two days from today, on how to use this marvel of modern telecopying technology!